I regret to inform you that the time has come yet again… to open the book. As a delayed punchline to it helping to murder Colin Trevorrow’s career, The Book of Henry comes out on Blu-Ray this week. I have talked… in detail about this film here (probably more than I’ll talk about any single movie here until the 20th Century Women piece comes out), and in the words of Michael Stipe, I’ve said too much, I haven’t said enough, because I still barely scratched the surface of what makes this movie a calamity for the ages. This film is destined to be filler in Best Buy $5 bins or to be the subject of disastrous Redbox rentals for family movie night, so I can’t in good conscience recommend you buy it for anywhere close to list price, but you should check it out for yourself eventually, if only so you can back up what I saw. And you can feel just a little less bad for Colin Trevorrow, as he secludes himself in his mansion and listens to “Falls on Climb” on repeat for the rest of the year.

Oh, and I guess there are also actually good movies coming out this week. Chief among them is David Lowery’s A Ghost Story, where Rooney Mara eats a pie like Dean Norris eats a bullet in The Book of Henry. There’s also Dreyer’s Vampyr, upgraded to Blu-Ray by Criterion, Frank Capra’s Lost Horizon, restored and released by Sony, and Night of the Living Dead, given a crassly exploitative (given its proximity to George Romero’s death, and Criterion’s plans to release a 4K-restored version), terrible-quality version by Mill Creek, who can take all that goodwill they got last week from releasing the complete series of Friday Night Lights and shove it so far up their ass that it sprays out their mouth in a beautiful white shower like the one Jacob Tremblay inexplicably creates for his climactic magic show in The Book of Henry (I’m sorry, I’ve completely lost the plot here). They’re also releasing Stephen Frears’ Mary Reilly this week, for the five people who remember that that was a thing and the one of those five who liked it. And I suspect the same numbers apply to the latest Pirates of the Caribbean sequel, which cost the GDP of a medium-sized country and grossed less in the U.S. than Johnny Depp’s legal fees. At least Book of Henry had the dignity to be cheap (although that may have just been because it blew all its budget on Naomi Watts’ sniper rifle).

American Horror Story: Roanoke (Fox)
The Book of Henry (Universal)
Children of the Corn (Arrow)
Churchill (Cohen)
City of Ghosts (Broad Green)
Cult of Chucky (Universal)
Don’t Torture a Duckling (Arrow)
A Ghost Story (Lionsgate)
Goon: Last of the Enforcers (Sony)
The Hidden (Warner Archive Collection)
Home for the Holidays (Shout Factory)
House of Cards: The Complete Fifth Season (Sony)
iZombie: The Complete Third Season (Warner Archive Collection)
Lost Horizon (Sony)
Mary Reilly (Mill Creek)
Night of the Living Dead (Mill Creek)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (Disney)
Popcorn (Synapse)
Superman The Movie: Extended Cut (Warner Archive Collection)
The Suspicious Death of a Minor (Arrow)
Vampyr (Criterion)
The Wizard of Lies (HBO)