There are questions that will plague men’s souls for eternity. Is there life after death? Does God exist? Where are the fucking t-shirts, and its sister question, you poppin’ my stones? But yesterday, I can say that I discovered the answer to the most pressing question of our time, and on Twitter, no less.

I am fan of the work of Darius Khondji, a cinematographer with the uncanny ability to shoot any location so that the images resemble a tourism ad in their warmth and lushness. He can make any place beautiful, whether it’s New York, Tuscany, France, Rome, Buenos Aires, subterranean tunnels inhabited by vegetarian troglodytes, an unnamed hellhole of a city where a serial killer is running loose, and, even more impressively, Rhode Island. He had previously worked with James Gray on The Immigrant, last year’s best-looking movie, so I thought chances were good that Gray would hire Khondji to shoot his follow-up project, The Lost City of Z (based on the book of the same name) for Paramount, with Robert Pattinson, Charlie Hunnam, and Sienna Miller in the leads. The story of the movie/book is about an adventurer who searches for a lost city in the Amazon only to go missing in the search, which would make the film ideal for Khondji to shoot, due to the large amount of lush, green vegetation in the Amazon for Khondji to wring warmth out of. And yet, the prospect of Khondji shooting the film has remained for too long just that, a prospect. IMDb seemingly went out of its way to update every new cast and crew position besides the cinematographer, Wikipedia didn’t even have a full page on the film, and the news circuit was no help, only saying where Pattinson and Hunnam were being spotted when they were taking breaks from filming. Sure, the fact that Khondji wasn’t available to shoot Woody Allen’s latest film should have been a sign that he was working on some film, likely Lost City, but no official confirmation came out. In my desperation, I demanded information from no one in particular, leaving tweets on the matter that suggest less “I want information!” than “I need to be committed”. I have mercifully only including some of the dozens of tweets I’ve made on the subject.

DAMNIT I DON’T CARE WHAT CHARLIE HUNNAM AND ROBERT PATTINSON ARE DOING WHILE THEY FILM LOST CITY OF Z, IS DARIUS KHONDJI SHOOTING IT OR NOT?

There will be no peace in this world until it was revealed that Darius Khondji is shooting The Lost City of Z.

#Is #DariusKhondji #Shooting #TheLostCityofZ #ImLosingMyGoddamnMindRightNow

It was a reply to that last tweet that finally provided an answer, from an unlikely place. Fellow Twitter user Shambolic (@lutleylocutions) provided a link to the agency that represents Darius Khondji, which prominently lists The Lost City of Z as his newest project. I could rest easy knowing this. And yet, when I went to rest, I had an unusual dream on the subject. I dreamt that critic Ignatiy Vishnevetsky (whose comment about the news circuit going crazy for Lost City due to Pattinson fangirls triggered my eventual discovery) told me that James Gray had told him that, due to the fact that half of the movie would just follow Charlie Hunnam, that half of the movie was going to suck while the half when he goes with Robert Pattinson would be good. It seems that, after the triumph that was my discovery of Khondji’s involvement, my unconscious self was strangely unsatisfied with that answer, looking to create doubts in my mind after they were erased. It was easily the most logical dream I’ve ever had, and yet, I’ll still be first in line to see The Lost City of Z when it comes out next year. Suck it, dream self!