It’s not that there’s anything inherently wrong with non-Disney properties on Disney+. Actually, the history of Disney providing you access to stuff made by other people goes back decades. The Lost Disney Channel Of My Childhood played things like Dot and the Bunyip and Asterix movies and even the Beatles cartoon. In November 1983, they even aired a month-long Roy Rogers film festival, hosted by Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. (My mom loved it; we did not.) The issue, however, is that we weren’t missing out on Zorro because they were showing us A Prairie Home Companion. And if they chose to make, I kid you not, a made-for-families show starring Dr. Joyce Brothers, well, they were still filling air time with DTV.
What’s my point? My point is that I turned on the app on my TV the other day and they suggested that I might want to watch Storage Wars. Which I very much do not. Even if I did, it’s certainly not the kind of content I signed up for Disney+ to get access to. I expect that sort of thing to be on Netflix and Amazon Prime and all the various network-affiliated streaming services, and I suppose it’s fine if it’s also on Disney+, but I resent its being available when The Edison Twins isn’t. Oh, I’m happy enough that they’ve added Doogie Howser, MD, but it means that you can spend more time watching Neil Patrick Harris on the service than, you know, Walt.
Yes, part of this is that I’m still bitter that Make Mine Music still isn’t up. (Add “The Martins and the Coys” and put the whole thing up you cowards.) And there are many, many live-action films from the studio similarly not available; I’ve spent money on this column a few times, which I shouldn’t have to do while paying for the service. (You can pay me back by supporting my Patreon or Ko-fi!) Oh, Treasure Island has pride of place, it’s true, as Disney’s first live-action feature. But their suggestion algorithm quickly runs out for me because they can’t suggest a lot of the stuff I actually want to watch. It isn’t there.
It’s harder and harder for me to say, “Well, there’s hundreds if not thousands of hours of Disney-affiliated programming for TV” when they put four shows about people bidding on storage lockers on instead of simply adding Five Mile Creek, which could be a heck of a nostalgia kick for a lot of people. Maybe there isn’t room for solid decades of the original Walt Disney Presents (or various other incarnations) programming, though I’m not sure I believe that given how much shark-related National Geographic stuff they’re suggesting to me right now. But the more I am reminded about what’s missing, the more angry I am at some of what’s there.
Some of it feels right in line with the way things were in the ‘80s. I’m fine with The Sound of Music, since Disney currently owns it. Ditto The Muppet Show. A lot of the National Geographic stuff is right out of the True-Life Adventure playbook—and there aren’t enough of those on the service, either, though I can see the point of not adding White Wilderness. It’s also not hard to connect the National Geographic stuff to the space-themed Disneyland episodes available. And honestly, I wouldn’t be upset if they were able to show Dot and the Bunyip and Asterix movies and the Beatles cartoon.
Every once in a while, I like touching base with all of you about the state of the streaming service, and this is what’s on my mind about it. I’m happy about a lot of what’s there; I explained about Zenimation to my therapist this week as something I thought she’d enjoy if she signs up. (Disney should put me on their payroll.) I’m happy with the Disney stuff we have, and happy every time I notice something recently added that’s older than I am. But why isn’t Disney Family Album available along with all the other shows about the studio’s history? It originally aired in 1984-1986, and it’s as valuable a history of the studio as all the newer ones. Get on it, Disney.
