There is inarguably more Christmas media than any other holiday programming. Books, movies, TV shows—I might, for next year, do a ranking of the best M*A*S*H Christmas episodes, and we can all have a pleasant argument about that. Everyone’s got their favourites, goodness knows, and then there are a ton that people will just sort of watch if they’re on. This one fits into that latter category for me, but we’re six years into this column, and we’ve kind of run through the high-demand stuff by this point.

Mickey and Pluto are out picking a Christmas tree. Pluto chases everyone’s favourite chipmunks, perhaps inadvertently leading Mickey to the small pine where they’re hiding. (Or possibly fir or spruce; I’ve looked up details on how to tell them apart online, and it turns out the animators probably weren’t giving arboreally precise detail.) Mickey hauls the tree inside, sets it up, and starts decorating it. However, every time he leaves the room, it becomes apparent to Pluto that there’s something odd about that there tree.

The part about this cartoon that outright angered me as a child was when Dale is trying to hide on the mantel among a group of Santa candles. He yanks the hat and beard off one of the candles. Mickey later lights it. And, like . . . no. No part of that makes sense, and it’s not funny enough to make up for not making sense. I put up with a blithe disregard for the laws of physics in cartoons because, you know, of course I do. However, it’s got to be in service to something, and this just isn’t. It’s trying and failing to be funny.

What works better for me is Pluto’s utter meltdown when Mickey observes that there are chipmunks in the tree. Pluto’s been trying to bring them to Mickey’s attention the whole short, though he’s not doing the most effective job at it. This has got to be the worst part of living as a semi-sentient animal in a world full of completely sentient animals. He can’t just use his words, and because everyone’s treating him as an animal, they aren’t picking up on his cues. I’d also suggest that sign language would be difficult for him, because, you know, paws. You can’t fingerspell if you don’t have fingers.

My son, who was watching this with me, demanded to know why they’d let Donald sing, during the end part where Donald, Goofy, and Minnie are caroling. It’s a fair question. He was surprisingly supportive of Chip and Dale’s voices, though he also doesn’t fully understand how Chip and Dale here became the ones he knows from Rescue Rangers. Which I could tell him, but it’s an odd decision that involves knowing more about Disney marketing than I think he actually wants to know at this point. So much better to just let him enjoy a pleasant, middle-of-the-road Disney Christmas cartoon for what it is.

I gave myself Yule off, but you can wish me a merry Christmas by supporting my Patreon or Ko-fi!