My favorite types of drinking games are the types that point out repeated themes of idiocy in a movie. My favorite rule for Showgirls is “take a shot of alcohol every time Nomi attacks an inanimate object.” The second best is “take a shot of beer whenever junk food or dog food is mentioned.” Both of these highlight themes within Showgirls that add absolutely nothing to the movie (though it will get you off to a great start since she stabs a car radio in the opening scene and then attacks a slot machine, Molly’s car, and a basket of fries in rapid succession).

What best way to highlight the failures of Roland Emmerich’s Stonewall if you’re going to reluctantly watch it anyways (despite my best efforts to persuade you not to) than with a drinking game?

Drink 2 oz. of beer every time…

• Somebody has terrible gay sex.
• Danny’s father is referred to as Coach.
• Ray pines after Danny
• Danny rejects Ray (because masc4masc)
• Somebody cries
• You notice that Christopher St is an artificial set (this will happen multiple times)
• Every time you see Danny’s luggage
• Whenever a prominent real life activist introduces themselves, then retreats to the background (this an egregious enough rule where you can upgrade it to shot-worthy status)

Drink a shot…

• When Danny cries while getting a blow job
• Whenever a New York City lesbian has an actual line of dialogue
• For J. Edgar Hoover
• Somebody has good sex (nah…this never actually happens)