Why did nobody tell me that Casper Van Dien and Denise Richards were in a movie together prior to Starship Troopers? I don’t understand why nobody seems to remember that Kill Shot exists until it somehow ended up on Amazon Prime. It’s not like this movie is all that forgettable. Kill Shot is downright batshit crazy. Kill Shot is every bit as good as Anna Nicole Smith’s timeless classic Skyscraper and it defies definition.
There’s no easy way to describe this movie except through the apartment complex all of these characters live in. This building has no reason to exist. It doesn’t fit together, there are pieces that seem to come from nowhere, it seems to defy genre or description, and it is ugly as sin. Yet, the building is a gorgeous, garish wonder that anybody in their right and wrong minds would be fascinated with.
That building is owned by Jake Mondello, a restaurateur who wants to put a volleyball team together from the renters within the building. Casper Van Dien is Randy, a rich asshole college student whose daddy pays his way and gives the college a donation every time Randy is about to flunk out. He is forced to be tutored by Sabina, a Hispanic pre-med student whose scholarship is being taken away. I think she’s roommates with the young woman who is being stalked by her ex-husband and manager? That stalked woman lives next door to Koji, a nerdy Asian guy who seems to be obsessed with her in the same fashion that Louis in Ghostbusters was obsessed with Dana. Then there’s the blond singer who left her fiance at the altar, the perpetually single 1990s kooky environmentalist woman who can’t seem to keep a roommate, and the gay black man who moves in with the environmentalist.
Got all that?
This R-rated TV movie or straight-to-video release (it comes in the 1.33:1 format) only has one extremely brief sex scene, one bit of violence, and beefcakey heartthrob Casper Van Dien plays volleyball with his shirt on. Is it a volleyball movie? A stalker thriller? A college sex comedy? A class drama? A kooky 90s compendium a la Singles? A coming out movie? It’s all these and so much more. This is a movie where a woman throws somebody’s hat into the garbage disposal while somebody kidnaps the wrong child while there’s the threat of a volleyball team not pulling together. It’s like Saved by the Bell meets Silk Stalkings meets Singles. And none of it fits together in any sort of coherent fashion.
That’s why this movie is so glorious. It’s like flipping through late night cable in 1996 for an hour and a half. You never know what you’re going to find, but it all kind of forms into a singular movie about Los Angeles. It’s a lot like that building. There’s something so ugly and grotesque about it. Yet, it’s fascinating and interesting in a way that really resembles nothing like a building. Is it an apartment complex or a home? It has the potential to be everything and ends up being nothing.