I enjoyed this movie.

My friend who accompanied me to this movie did not like it as much.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a throwback to the Odd Couple buddy action-comedies of the 1980s (48 Hours, Midnight Run) where some uptight conservative dude has to chauffeur somebody who is much looser, and their tension is as much the source of comedy as their bonding. Here, Ryan Reynolds is the uptight bodyguard protecting Samuel L. Jackson as the loose cannon hitman. Reynolds has to get Jackson from London to Amsterdam in 30 hours or whatever (this whole movie is a ticking clock situation) so that Jackson can testify against some Russian dictator (Gary Oldman?!) from Belarus.

It’s crazy! It’s wacky! This movie is trying very hard to entertain you by throwing car chase after car chase, explosions and gun fights, and a wicked sassy Selma Hayek in the mix. It’s everything you could ever expect from those Midnight Run movies but cranked up to like 13.

The leads have such good chemistry that my friend and I had a bet that Reynolds and Jackson were going to make out by the end of this movie. I had bet that there would be a kiss if not a full-on make out session (even if it was played out ironically in a bromantic fashion). She kept insisting that they wouldn’t and said that she would buy me dinner if they did. They didn’t, and I was sad that I missed out on free dinner.

As a last note, this screening came with a weird bit with the director coming on screen to say “thanks for seeing this movie” and then doing a weird impression of both Reynolds and Jackson. Apparently they didn’t think enough of the movie to promote it themselves, but…mainly…is this now a thing? If I go to a theater, are more and more directors going to bombard me with a “please like my movie?” statement? Because, really, it was weird and cloying.

I don’t really have that much to say about this movie. It’s glossy, crazy, silly, stupid, and exactly what the movie sells itself as. If you’re missing out on those 80s action comedies where shit blows up, and want to see new faces in that formula, this one will fill in that gap. I’m sure there’s something to be said about this movie setting up Russians again as the big bad villain for committing war crimes (another 80s trope this movie wraps around itself like a cozy warm blanket), but whatever. It’s perfectly fine.

My friend didn’t talk about the movie much after it was over. I insisted it was fine but she thought it was the worst movie she’d seen in years. That’s probably a bit harsh. Maybe she thinks that because this movie is so blatantly two guys hanging out and fixing their love lives while their potential girlfriends are either in jail or broken up with them. I dunno. It was a boy movie.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard: a movie made by boys for boys.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard: I had fun.